I remember when I was growing up I had total freedom. If there were really any rules, I wasn't clearly aware of them. I remember staying up as late as I wanted, ate what I wanted (although we didn't have nearly as many convenient "comfort foods" as we do today), drank sodas, and pretty much had free roam of the neighborhood and waterways. I had two really close friends and several neighborhood friends that I played with when I was little, and we ruled the world. As time when on and we grew a little older (10 ish), I always felt bad for one of my closer friends. He was nerdy, had ADHD, asthma, and couldn't eat or do some of the "stuff" we used to do. I remember he ALWAYS had to call his Mom and ask if it was okay to eat at our house and of course my parents would have to provide the menu. He wasn't allowed sugar... So no Jello, no soda, no Popsicles, no cookies... The sandwich would have to be approved. Ugh... It was mess! I always felt sorry for him. Everyone always picked on him, and that is what eventually pushed us apart. Well, that and puberty... Ha Ha Ha.
This afternoon/ tonight my son was invited to go the Bounce House with a friend of his. I knew he wanted to so my husband gave him $12 and he was on his way. While out with his friend's family, my oldest child decided to eat a TON of candy, no dinner, a LARGE Mc Donald's Coke, a Sprite from the Bounce House and candy from a goody bag. Now, unlike my upbringing, I lay down rules. (Yeah! Yeah! Beat my up about not following my up bringing, but I had bad teeth and extensive dental work as a result of the above bad habits, AND I ate vegetables, fruits and chicken. And yes, today I border on having diabetes. Trust me... You pay what you put in!) I don't allow candy unless you eat dinner first. I don't allow my kids to have a soda unless it is a special occasion and I ONLY allow a 6 oz cup of Sprite at most.
So what is the result? My son comes home with an upset tummy and "freaks out" because he is afraid he might throw up. Tonight I told him this is what happens when you over indulge in good things.There is always a price to pay, and how many times does he have to do this (he's done it at school holiday parties) before he realizes that more than a piece of candy without eating something healthy will make your stomach hurt? Is it bad that I almost wanted him to throw up because maybe that would sign the deal and he would FINALLY get the point that overindulging in the "good stuff" is not a good thing! Ugh!!!
So sitting there hugging C, I looked at my husband and told him the story about my friend mentioned above. Do I really need to send a note with C every time he leaves the house to remind other parents that my child doesn't have self restraint yet, and that he can't have soda or candy. Oh and that he MUST eat decent food before even a piece or a little bit of sweets can be considered? How embarrassing it was to my friend, but maybe that was the only way his Mom could keep things in check and maybe teach her child a lesson???
So what do I do? If my son ate more than the 3 things I can count on my one hand I wouldn't be so restrictive. I am turning into THAT parent... The controlling one. :( I really don't like it either!!!
2 comments:
A mom has to do what a mom has to do. Sometimes it stinks!I think that since it is not life threatening I would let him be sick and hope he learns his lesson soon. A great teaching moment that will serve him well into the future when he is being tempted to do other things that you have warned him not to do.
i really appreciate it when parents who are dropping their kids off, let me know of basic ground rules for their children. i don't want to strain relationships with my buddy's for not respecting other parents that their rules. we are more on the 'lines and limitations' side of things as well, but i appreciate it also when other moms ask me about basic ground rules also. it is just common courtesy, maybe next time just nicely in passing mention that your son can have 1pc of sugar thing after his dinner. maybe that would be ok?? i don't know this mother that well, so i don't know how i would handle the situation ;-)
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