Retreat

No... Not the vacation kind... The song played at the end of the day!
Tonight I was privileged to be on Post when they played it. EVERYTHING stops! Cars pull over, soldiers get out and face the flag as it is lowered. The whole place just stops until the flag has been completely lowered and retired for the day. Even the kids stop and pause mid play.This is the way of military life.

I filled up with pride and I cried afterwards. I just think our service members are wonderful!!! And of course their family members are phenomenal too!!! If you get a chance... Stop by a military site and pay your respects, and listen... You are bound to hear retreat! :)

Random Dozen

I love this blog. I've done this a few times before. I hope you enjoy the questions and my response, please visit Linda's Blog and enjoy a 2nd cup!

1. Do you find it gross to share drinks with family? Friends?
Umm... Yes, being a nursing in training teaches me NOT to share drinks with ANYONE! Bleck!

2. What have you learned this year? (You didn't see a question of that weight coming, did you? At least not for #2.)
STRENGTH! I have been through hell and back this year and I made it! AMEN! And I'm ready to have my life partner back! Yippeee!!!

3. When do you dismantle the Christmas decorations? Usually New Year's Day, but this year it is coming down in pieces as we prepare for a HOMECOMING!

4. Something you wish to accomplish before the end of 2009 is:Get the house under control... LOL. We are still digging out of out the Christmas mess! :)

5. How do you feel about winter (after Christmas)? It isn't so bad... I celebrate an anniversary, Happy Hearts Day, and it leads to the birthdays of two special little boys! :)

6. Have you participated in after-Christmas sales? YES!!! Just this year we bought a 55" TV and TV stand. YIKES!

7. Do you have plans for New Year's Eve? It think it will be quiet and reflective! :)

8. Is there anything special awaiting you in January?YOU BET!!! I cannot wait to welcome home the love of my life!!! A thousand Yellow Ribbons around the old oak tree!!!!

9. If your life this year was a movie, what category or genre would it be? (Romance, Comedy, Drama, Thriller, Suspense, Farcical, etc.) Oh... It would be a whole lotta mix... Ha Ha Ha...

10. How much time per day do you spend blogging? Please do not lie. I will know. Not enough... Being in school full time, having two little boys and being an dutiful Army wife... I have too little time. I know... Sad. :( I hope to be better in 2010!

11. Who runs your household? The kids... No kidding. I think I do, with a little help from my friends these days. :) And hopefully my handsome man!

12. Share one hope/dream for 2010. I hope that Americans realize that we need to make a change. It isn't all about me or you or anyone else... It's about pulling together and helping each other out. It's about recognizing our blessings, because everyday is just that full of little miracles. I pray for the safety of our military and their families. The military life takes a toll on both the soldier and his/ her family. Many get so wrapped up they forget about that. I hope that 2010 is full of smiles and MANY of them! I hope it offers it's challenges, but that they are minimal and manageable. I hope that I finish my Nursing Pre-Req's with all A's again! (I had to put a selfish one in).

Reflection...

So here is my reflection of 2009. The most wonderful moments or pivitol moments picture style:


Houston! :)



Making Rank!



Teaching!



Playing!





Plays!




Zoo Visits!





Birthday Parties!



Strawberry Picking!



First Tooth Losing...



Visiting good friends... and making new ones!



Beach Stays...



Poolside Retreats!



Cubscout Camps!



New School Years!



Pumpkin Patches!



Christmas Day fun!


From our house to yours... May you Receive Many BLESSINGS in your New Year!

Dear Mom,

It's been a year, Mom. Almost to the day 1 year since I said good bye. I miss you! I have searched for a year now to find some to fill your shoes. Ha Ha Ha... No one can. I miss our silly conversations the most. You know the "I just had to tell you, okay bye." conversations. I miss your reassurance that everything will be okay over silly things. I miss your strength, and sometimes I close my eyes and wish I could rewind to certain times and freeze it just right at that spot. Is it weird to feel that way?

I hope you have not had a chance to look at the craziness in my life over the last year. I really hope that you and Dad and the rest of our family have been living it up! That is the one thing I wish I knew... I wish I could be assured that the afterlife was as splendid as you hear. How does anyone actually know? I mean if you make it there, you can't just come back here to the rest of us... I believe those that "die" and then come back are in the in between life. Not really the same... I just hope it is peaceful and fun. Nothing like the nuttiness and chaos of down here, but we are all still learning so we can go forward and be ina the wonderful place.

IT's been a crazy year, Mom. Those boys are giants now. Growing up so fast I feel like I blinked and they are old. The baby is in school, and that makes me long for one more... Shh... That is between you and me, so don't let M hear that. :)

You know I'm angry with you! Angry that you didn't fight! But, I also know that it would have been a tough fight and I couldn't promise I would be there. I guess that is my fault... I married into the world of travel. Ha Ha Ha.... The military life is a lonely life sometimes. I know you told me that and I never listened. I love M though, so I'm gonna stick it out. Just a lot of sacrifices. It's funny. So many think that the military members suffer... Well, that is not always true. I think the family suffers too. I'm sorry I couldn't be there... I'm sorry I wasn't there when you passed either. I don't know if that is good or bad either?! I guess life is like that... Never really knowing if you are right or wrong. Just kinda going with it.

I do know one thing... You were a pretty awesome Mom! How you managed everything without being bitter is amazing. I've learned about sacrifice in the last year, and boy YOU really sacrificed! I've tried to follow in your footsteps and go forward and not be afraid even when I was terrified. Pretty scary stuff, and I KNOW you did it! Wow! I wish I could have and should told you how proud I was of you!!! I'm just glad you instilled some of that strength in me! :) Thank you!

Sigh... I need to go put my little ones in bed and fold the mountain of laundry sitting next to me. I miss you! I love you! I wish you could read this. I wish I could read it to you. I'm proud of you, Mom, and I MISS YOU so much!!!

Love, Me

I Got ALL A's!

OH Yeah!!! Enough blogged! :)

Christmas Cards...

When did we all get so impersonal? I know photo cards are my favorite! This gives me a chance to send pictures of the family all over at one time and I don't have to worry about if I sent them to so and so, etc. And let's face it... Holiday cards are my route to get that out. But have we as a society gotten a little overly detached with photo cards? It does everything for you... Puts "Happy Holidays!" or "Merry Christmas" or any other catch phrase you want to choose, signs you names and ta da... You are done!

Then you add the famous Christmas news letter... Oh, yes I too include one of these fabulous letters every year. Again, this gives me a chance to get out everything we have been up to all year in a one time shot. I send over 100 Christmas cards a year to family, friends, etc. And I LOVE IT!

BUT... I try to, on each card put something personal, like thinking of you which is the truth I honestly do think about many people... Like how nice it must be to have snow or that their husband is home or that they went on a tropical vacation... Did they remember me... You know... The typical things we think about during "thinking of you moments." Or I note that I miss them... Which again I DO... More than many of you know! I really do try to put a personal touch on my cards. To me it takes away from the sterile-ness of a photo Christmas card with a photocopied newsletter. I hope people feel my personal touch... And I might add... I hand address each and every card I mail. :) This often stirs up fond memories of each person too. Like Wow... I miss The Netherlands, or hmmm... Maybe Hawaii would be a great place to visit this Spring... Or remember that road trip Senior year... Oh wait, yeah let's not go there... Ha Ha Ha...

But lately, I've noticed that most of the cards I receive are just that... Signed cards or sterile photo cards with newsletters. Have we become so detached or busy that we don't have time to tell our loved ones or friends that we really do miss them/ love them/ wish they were closer? This saddens me because I've been seeing society head in this direction for awhile now, but I never thought it would hit so close to home. I love that people thought of me during Christmas which is a very busy time. But I want you to remember me because you want to, not because I sent you a card or because you have to write Christmas cards or whatever other reason. Send me an Easter card or a card because it's summer and you wish I was at the beach with you. :)

This Christmas... Send REAL cards to people! Even if you only send 5... Tell those people how you really feel. Break the impersonal cycle!!!

Life is good! :)

God has taken me to a different place

I think I told you guys on several occasions I wondered what my purpose was here, and I didn't know... But I think I do know... Or maybe I'm getting the message.

Did I tell you about how I became a real Christian??? I'm not a Bible thumper, so I won't completely blow you mind and throw and incredible amount of scripture at you. To be honest that does no good if you don't have a relationship with God.

When my husband deployed in 2003, I learned to pray... I was a new Mom, and I prayed every single night for God to look out for us and for M. I prayed for safety and all good things. I went to church and listened to the scriptures, but I wasn't really listening. I was the good christian, but I was listening to what God was saying or what he really wanted me to hear. But I might not have been ready???

When I started working in Army Headquarters, I met a lady who taught me more about God and life than any one I've ever met. At the time, I didn't attend church. I was so busy with work and raising 2 little ones now that I had no time on Sunday to add one more thing. She was okay with that, and told me to have a relationship with God, you don't need a formal church or place of worship. A place of worship can be anywhere you find a peaceful minute to just have peace and are able to communicate with Him and really listen. Ha Ha Ha.... I kept thinking God better scream at me because M was gone (again) and I had two little people to raise and a VERY demanding job. Every day, I would sit and have a moment with W. She was secure in everything... work, family, friends. She seemed so at peace with everything. I admired that. I wasn't the only one who thought that. Two other ladies sought advice from W on a daily basis. Together, the three of us would meet and encourage one another. We became our own Yada Yada sisterhood. :)

Leaving them has been hard, but W has given me so many things... She really showed me about God and what God has planned for me. I asked her about coming here to this place. I have to admit leaving DC was hard. I was good at my job, and loved by many... Getting here it hasn't been so easy. I've emailed my sorrows on so many occasions, and like all others she patiently read them and asked me if I had prayed on it and was I listening? Until lately, I have been in the same mode: God, please yell really really loudly because there is too much noise for me to hear Your word. BUT within the last two weeks He has shown me all those who are lost around me. He has shown me that I'm not lost. I'm where I need to be. I'm not crazy... I'm not mean, evil, hurtful... Many around me are conflicted... Scared... Flustered... So many who just aren't there yet when it comes to faith. They believe in God, but they just don't whole heartedly feel it. Really get it! I'm saddened by this. I want to yell at God and yell at them... But they are works in progress just as I was when I found God, and like I am today. You have to be ready to accept God though. It's more than motions that you go through. Going to church is okay, but you can be totally disconnected and still go to church. You have to listen to the words and say to yourself... Wow! I'm like that or I need to change that, and let go, and let God. I'm getting better at that. Slowly... And with a little help from my friends.

I am feeling good about what God is teaching me. It's frustrating at times, but He is good, and I'm glad He has taken me to a different place! What a great sense of peace I have because I understand, and I let go and let God!!

You know... Sometimes It's Just Not About You

Here lately I have a been amazed at the selfishness of people. Yes, I have found myself wrapped up in the craziness at times too. Seriously, ask yourself this: Have I thought about someone other than myself or immediate family lately especially in my daily actions and have I thought about it outside of how it impacts me?

I bet many of us haven't even thought about what is outside the box. Here lately I have heard so many make it all about themselves! I bought for myself... My family is doing this after/ during Christmas... My husband is coming home... PTO... Did you talk to Blah blah blah... None of these have looked beyond the little circle that encompasses themselves. I have been watching this, and really trying to be an active listener, and I wonder when it became all about "You?" Life revolves around so much more... What about those in need? What about the widow? The lonely man/ woman at the Nursing home? What about the person grieving over a separation? Sure YOU are blessed! These people put themselves in these situations, but have you thought about them? Have you looked at yourself and asked, not how does this impact me, but how do we make this better together? I can surely tell you, in my life right now I do not see this. I hear endless chatter about how bad this person is, and how great this is, but I never hear ANYONE step up and help out. I feel bad, because I have been one of these people too, but I have made a conscious effort to stand down. IT isn't all about you and me. It's bigger than that! I think I am amazed at my God and how He manages to balance everything, and he doesn't have a nasty tongue. He manages to take care of you, me, the neighbor, the homeless, those that suffer pain/ addictions... He has the whole thing pretty much balanced. And He never talks about Himself other than to say, "How can I help you?" That is AMAZING!

I can't own you... I can't say your opinion or your self centerness is good or bad. I don't own it, but just for one second... Think outside of the BOX... Look at yourself and ask, "Is it really all about me?" The answer is... Probably not!